The Scarf That Never Mattered

Before our trip last year, I bought a couple of winter items, like a hat and scarf and warm socks. At the Mission House in General Cepeda, people knock on the door asking for help morning to night. They need food for their children, formula, a prescription filled, a ride to the hospital in Saltillo, warm clothes for winter, a blanket, or maybe they’re there to sell a good they’ve made. No matter what they ask for they are guaranteed to leave with at least and at most a prayer. Some come only seeking prayer for an ailment—lifelong backpain, their daughter is sick, an abusive relationship, or any other thing that plague us humans.

Last year I watched an Intake missionary (what we are this year) take off her scarf and give it to a woman who they were talking to.

The woman needed warm clothes for her and her children. They provided them with a few other things they could find and then prayed over them. I told myself that I would give up my new, pretty scarf if I encountered someone in need, but I never met anyone in need of warm clothes on the trip. Giving her scarf was a small gesture but it touched me and played through my mind over and over in the last year.

At the end of trips, all are welcome to leave clothes or other items behind that the missionaries can then give out to those who come to the door in need. We knew this before going and packed clothes we were okay with leaving so we left a huge stack behind. But not my scarf. We were leaving behind our blankets and I wanted the scarf for the plane. I felt guilty for some reason but took it with me anyways.

And I did use it on the plane and wore it many other days after that. In the Spring I messaged a missionary friend from that trip to tell her how silly it was but that I felt bad for being so attached to this scarf that I didn’t let it go. She said maybe I’ll get to give it away one day and it’ll make sense why and be a neat story. Maybe!

I took the scarf back to General Cepeda with me this year. I waited with great anticipation for someone to knock on the door in need of a scarf and for my silly guilt to be healed.

Throughout our month there I never encountered someone in need of a scarf.

What I did (unknowingly) encounter was Christ’s love for me. Right there in the midst of my silly guilt, He was making me new.

The guilt began to fade away the second we arrived in General Cepeda but I didn’t understand why until we were back in Louisiana after the trip.

The scarf never mattered.

It’s easy to misplace feelings, especially when God is trying to make you anew. I wasn’t wrong to realize that I was unnecessarily attached to an object and wanted freedom from that. But what I was really attached to was my life.

I longed deep inside, not to give a scarf away, but to BE the missionary giving it away.

When I replay it in my mind again, I see her taking the scarf off and placing it on the woman, but now I can focus on what else is happening that my heart saw before—the missionary’s smile—her joy. The joy of proclaiming Christ’s love to another. I longed for that… and now I have it. 😊

Do you have a scarf in your life blinding you?

Jesus, remove any object that keeps me from you. Open my heart to your desires for my life. Make me anew so that I may live in your love and proclaim it to others. __________________________________________________________

Alison and Kent McConoughey are Catholic foreign missionaries serving in General Cepeda, Mexico with their son, Jeremiah. Partnered with Family Missions Company, an apostolate of lay Catholic missionaries, we go into the whole world to Proclaim the Gospel and Care for the Poor. Join us on Christ's mission via Instagram or by subscribing to our blog!